Well folks, we're back from our Orthopaedic check-up.
And yes, I realize that was two full days ago, but I just couldn't stomach writing about it until now.
Let me back up and say......I think I tend to err on the side of sunshine....or atleast glasses three-quarters full.....but Tuesday was bad.
I was frustrated and angry and not afraid to admit it.
As my dear friend reminded me, it's ok to tell God when you're not happy about something.
He knows life is not all rainbows and warm-fuzzies. So I did.........me and God had 'words.'
And I shed lots of tears.
I'm tired and my son is more tired. And it's all so unfair.
(And if you're tired of reading about our pity parties...feel free to click here and read about happier times.)
But the reality of the situation is that we will never reach the end of a timeframe where Merrick is magically back to 'normal.'
At no point should I have expected him to put down that foot and take a step.
Maybe I didn't ask enough questions about this surgery, but now we know. This ordeal is far from over.
We traded one type of gnawing, inexplicable pain, for another. An avoidable, uncomfortable straining pain.
And it's this new pain that has become a reality for him.
He now knows how to cope with this new pain.
He hobbles/crawls/scoots or uses the walker around our house....and in public he is frustrated by the slowness of his walker, so he begs to be pushed. Merrick would much rather hop in his wheelchair than spend all day hopping on one leg and steering around his walker. Wouldn't you?
Someone asked me about the walker the other day...as I struggled to unload a wheelchair and 5 kids in the rain.....yeah, well, I'll force him to do many things, but that darn walker really does look torurous. So I get all motherly, and compassionate, and let him take the break.
What I thought would be a blessing to him is too much of a workout. He has spent the last 6 weeks tenderly nursing this bum leg, and now we expect him to use it again?
Pshaw! No way, it hurts mom!
Compounding our issue on the way to our Dr. appt he tripped and hurt the top of his foot.
He was using his walker and dropped his 'bad' leg too close to the ground. I wasn't nearby, but he says he fell onto the top of his foot. His screams of pain and loads of tears told me it was more than just a stubbed toe. So I mentioned it to the Dr. during our visit. I was concerned to have him put weight on it if there was a sprain or even a hairline fracture. But my concern was pooh-poohed. And my request for an x-ray deemed unnecessary. I was told to return in 3-4 days if it still hurt.
Bah! Can you see where my anger began? The Momma Bear in me was ready to roar! You want me to take home a hurting son for half a week when we're here NOW?
Next, the Dr. explained that he expects much limping, and only gradual weight bearing at first........No rough play for 2 more weeks, and then a total of 6 more weeks of physical therapy before he hopes to see Merrick walking around again. Um, I'm sorry, at what point did I miss the synopsis of this 12 week process? When we talked about surgery I was only given info bit by bit. There is much to be said about asking as many questions as possible, but at that time I only had his casttime recovery in mind.
This trickle of information was obviously meant to keep us limitedly informed so we wouldn't be overwhelmed. But MAN! Talk about a shock!
So now the work begins. I keep praying over his foot and we don't see any bruising or swelling- so the likelyhood of it being broken is slim. I just wish I knew how hard I should push him. Both Jarrod and I are so eager to see him walk again, that we talk him through each motion, distract him from the pain of a step, and cheer him for every milestone. But we're all so tired. And if he really didn't break anything then his tears are just indicative of how hard we will have to fight for each step.
Physical therapy is no joke. This continues to be a long hard journey for Merrick, my softy, sensitive, uber dramatic, and hater of all things uncomfortable middle child.
Keep praying the miracles our way. I know they are coming, but they sure are taking their time!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
It's so easy to get caught up in survival mode, no?
Breakfast, clean up breakfast, school/library/errands, Lunch, playtime/school, prep dinner, Dinner, clean-up, laundry/chores/bedtime/school prep/blog, sleep.
Lather, rinse, repeat!
That schedule almost makes a dent in a possible day's filling.......and I didn't even add in the kid's activities/classes/appointments, etc.
So life in general is busy enough that a week can slip away all too quickly. Next thing you know, you're enjoying Daddy time on the weekends and getting ready to start all over again.
It's like washing the dishes....didn't I JUST load/unload this thing?
So I'm jumping off that crazy train for just a second to update you. And may I add, thank you to those of you who hound me to put up these updates. I need the reminders ;)
Through the downpour of busyness, we've seen miracles appear and vanish as quickly as a rainbow. The wonder lasts for those moments, but if I share it with you, the happy thoughts can linger a little longer right?
For instance, Merrick finally received his Junior Walker. This little piece of aluminum has granted him simultaneous independence and exhaustion. Walking with it is similar to walking with a pair of crutches...only with more stability....and without the aching armpits. I'll detail on our family blog, how perfect the timing of it's delivery was. Suffice it to say....this small piece of equipment is such a blessing for our son!
Sometimes we forget how limited he is right now. I actually pause at the email inviting us on a hike.....wait are we free? Oh, that's right, hiking is not really our thing right now! But having a walker he can use...frees him up from banging around in a wheelchair, or needing someone to manuever him around corners. Ah, freedom, a bright and shining arch!
Secondly, I may have mentioned our bill pile....steadily growing since December. The medical bills which will total in the thousands.....and for which we had no other recourse than to begin paying with credit cards. Those medical bills just sat there....staring at us. Then tonight we finally got around to filing our taxes. Wouldn't you know that we will receive MORE than enough to pay off those bills when all is said and done. And poof! Another rainbow appeared, a promise of provision and a substitute to carry our load.
That promise was always there.....we didn't NEED the tax return to know it....but our precious Savior is so merciful. He knew our meager faith could only take so much, so He provided this sign...to remind us we were never alone. He has never left us....even when things look bleak. He has given us a spectrum of hope.
So now as we're in our final week of non-weight bearing therapy/hobbling.....I'm waiting expectantly for the next light show. It will have been over 6 weeks since Merrick tried walking. I'm believing on the miracle of his muscles to strengthen and his body to remember how to balance. For all of the exercises we've done with his legs....and for all the ones we have forgotten to do. That the scar tissue that goes through such thick muscle has been massaged enough to remain flexible for it's graduation to walking. It's not a rainbow I hope will be there. At this point it's a miracle I KNOW we will see.
And that my friends, is what we've been up to....just sky watching a bit, and waiting.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
'When I grow up I want to be a Firefighter!' is offered for $7.95, and I think it's affordable enough that I'll be recommending this e-book to our Co-op, so the other kids can prep for our trip! It's so nice to have everything from activities to history lessons all laid out for you instead of scouring the library, or the internet for resources. When it comes to supplemental units in our schooling, who has time for all that? Besides, I trust TOS to provide quality information at an accessible cost.
If you are interested in the 'TOS WannaBe' series; check out these books as well:
I personally love e-books for their easy storage. I have enough booklets crowding our shelves. Once I download an e-book file, it is mine to keep and print out at my leisure.....No running to make copies or ruining the original materials! Of course each purchase is copyrighted...so no sharing...no matter how easy it may be! But at that price, TOS makes it easy to snatch up a book for your own family!
So that about raps it up for my first review....let me know what you think in the comment section!
And check out more excellent TOS products here.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I seriously haven't had an ounce of 'extra' energy to post here.
But Merrick....he on the other hand is FULL of energy ;)
He basically cannot lift his leg completely straight....sweet boy. If it's not one thing it's another!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Fact: We visited the Orthopaedic Specialist today.
Fact: We went in smiling.
Fact: That part didn't hurt.
But it was all downhill from there.
Fact: Neither one of us was prepared for the stiffness in his joints, the pain at the site of the incision, the muscle soreness, the renewed lack of mobility or the mandate to keep him off his leg for another 3 weeks.
Fact: The cast went away, but so did our smiles.
Fact: Just when you think you've got it all figured out,
a trial will come to test your resolve.....and force you to admit on WHOM you are relying.
Fact: I had started to rely on my own strength again.
Fact: We needed another talk about the power of prayer and the temporal state of our worries.
In light of eternity, and the relative size of the troubles of others.....
3 more weeks of wheelchairs and lifting with our knees is a drop in the bucket of a much grander scheme.
Fact: Today was no surprise to God.
He knew the number of our tears before we even knew we'd be sad.
Fact: We have much to be thankful for.
Fact: By bedtime we were smiling again.
This might get a bit deep, so I thought I'd put up pretty pictures I took at the Academy of Science last week. Enjoy the light as we ponder.
All of this drama in our life has me thinking.
You realize who is really interested in your life when one of your loved ones is hurting.
And I don't mean that in any accusatory way, since I know that I fail to send a card, offer a meal, or make a call even if I'm deep in prayer for a person. But I ask you...if we DON'T do these things....then who will?
It was simple....they had invested in her life, and she saw truth in their religion.
Love in action.
The thing is.....only a handful of members from our actual church follow this blog. So at the risk of preaching to the choir here.....
I have to state that majority of the congregation had no idea what was going on until after we were home from surgery.
But I promise you that God will send you an opportunity for someone to be there for you...and for you to be there for someone else.
So let us live by that golden rule....
and Treat others as we would like to be treated.