Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Spring Changes

The beauty of spring is that it comes once a year.....new, fresh and washing everything clean.  It's also volatile in it's temperatures and sporadic with it's weather.  But, it's a necessary process, right? 
There are glimpses of the next season, like the warm spells here in Cali that have my kids requesting water balloons!  But then the next day forecast will call for rain and thunderstorms.
  It's a season of change, when plants pop up new and everything greens. 
No matter the weather, it's a nice lull before the craziness of summer.

Living here is like springtime.  It's new, it's laid back, and we're laying out plans for the future without really feeling the crunch yet.  For now, those plans involve our next abode.

We made a quick sprint out of our house and are slowly adjusting to living with my parents.
They've made this process all too easy and I'm hopeful that we'll look back on these days and always treasure them!   In the meantime, our house hunt has been fierce!  We jet out of the house at the drop of a hat the minute a new house comes on the market.  We've written atleast 4 offers in just under 4 weeks, and we've had two accepted.  And two MAJORLY rejected!  We keep reminding ourselves that there is only ONE house for us.  Just one.  And God already knows which one...so we don't have to strive to win 20 houses.....we just have to keep praying for that ONE. 

Last week we may have found it.
We put in an offer the next day.....and I wavered all weekend about it's location.  But my hubby stood firm and our offer went through.
Tonight we revisited our potential new home.  It's gorgeous, and all signs point toward it being THE ONE.....but my heart is scared of the change.  So many of the other houses were centrally located, and close to the familiar.  But NONE of them have been doable.  This one has everything we've been looking for....
But it's SO far out of town!

Here are my fears:
I'm used to being 'the sitter'....the playdate stop.  The place people drop by with their kids, and where I treasure the sound of a 'full' house.  Who will drive 15 more minutes to do that? 
It just won't be 'easy' anymore. 
Will it mean more time at home rather than running here or there with the kids?  Gasp!
Homeschooling lends itself to lots of activities, which we treasure!  In this house I'll have to budget my time and gas resources more than EVER before. (even as I type that I KNOW it's not a BAD thing- please don't snicker!)
Then there are my parents.  In the past 10 years since I officially moved from their house, they have always been within a 5-7 minute drive.  Yes, the cord is still VERY short!  But my daddy is the one I call when my keys are locked in the car, and my mom is the one that will run over if my kids are sick and I need to run to the store for 7-up.  In fact she'll usually whip up some soup, and deliver it WITH the 7-up!
This house is only one town over, but 20 minutes from my parents.  A distance that I KNOW will be a stretch for them.  Not to mention the stairs...Marmar's knees cannot tolerate the stairs in this house!
(No more tucking my kids in or babysitting at our house!)

My reassurances:
My parents saw the house tonight, and have been VERY encouraging!
Many friends have promised to visit ;)
I don't usually have a problem making new friends....if those friends don't step it up....ahaaha....ahem.
But truly, God must have amazing things in store for us in that neighborhood/part of town if that's the case!
We'll just have to figure in that gas budget!

Ultimately:
God is Sovereign.  He is the God of Spring/the God of change! He can orchestrate these changes for good!
He's not surprised by my fears.  In fact, He knows how weak my faith really is.  How I've prayed for change, yet want it to be 'comfortable.'  How I LONG for that next season of summer, yet balk at the less predictable period before it.  Ah, the uncertainty of Spring.

Now after writing this:
To this time in our life I say, Bring it on!
I'm shaking off the uncertainty, even if  the rain that comes in to water the flowers can look awfully gloomy.
I will admit I love the smell of rain, so fresh, so invigorating!

I'm reminded that for YEARS I've been asking God to move us AWAY...little did I know it would be just FAR enough away to make me uncomfortable, while still moving me out of my 'comfort zone!'

One last thought:  Did I mention that we'll be in the same development that started this journey?
All of the peace and vision we had for living in that area makes SO much sense now. 

Talk about full circle huh?
Kinda like the seasons. 
~sigh

3 comments:

Gina said...

So many highs and lows in moving. Always is the case. Seems like all you've been asking for is coming your way. Change isn't always easy, but the benefits are often more awesome than we could have imagined, especially in the way of growth. May the Lord give you peace and courage to take on the coming changes in your life! :-)

The Ballard Family said...

"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you." Genesis 28:15

Talk about a promise! Nikki, no matter where you move...5 minutes from your parents or 5 hours, God has promised He will be with you and watch over you wherever you are! You let Him deal with your friends and parents visiting. And remember that if no one else visits you, it's just around the corner from me and Cheri! We'll bring you 7-up! Heck, the Chevron is on the way to your house for me! I just can't make soup!

Stef said...

I loved yet another post of yours! Wow... you write out feelings I've felt, things I've struggled with and more! Its like therapy to come on here and read your blog.

As you know, living this far away from my parents has been SO hard and there are days when I feel incredibly guilty for taking our kids away from such amazing Grandparents and the only friends/life they've ever known.
Then yesterday I was listening to Ethan talk to Rachel about "when I get older" and he was going on and on about how he wants to travel to countries far away and tell people all about God; the poor people, the sad people, the people who can't go to churches. I looked over at him with a tear in my eye and said "I think you have an awesome idea, Ethan. But Mommy will sure miss her boy" and he simply smiled and said "mommy, I won't be DEAD, just farther away." He had NO idea how soothing those words were for me, that day. I needed to hear that.

Even when life changes (especially when GOD is bringing about the change) go with it. Remember life isn't over, its just changing. And, God often surprises us with what beautiful, amazing things He had in store for us, as we embraced those changes.

Moving from CA to WA has been amazingly wonderful and totally freaky all at the same time. There are days I just stop and sob. I miss my "old" life, for sure. I miss the familiar and I often get tired of the "starting from square one" feeling. But as soon as those feelings come, the Holy Spirit washes over me with a fresh reminder of "I chose this for you" and thankfulness and joy creep in.

I am praying for you. I know you think these changes aren't that big, but ALL change is big. We're creatures of habit and we like what we're comfortable with.

Your friends love you! They'll be sure to drop in and yeah, maybe you will have more time with just hubby and kids (but that's actually awesome!).

You inspire me. Your trust in the Lord and desire to please Him is infectious.

The end ;)

ps. if you get the house, PLEASE post some pictures!