Sunday, November 29, 2009

Too Blessed to be Stressed?

This little phrase kept running through my mind tonight as I pondered, "What in the world???"
Did I mention what I was doing?
See for yourself:

Still have no clue??
Well those aren't lampshades baby! I was hanging clothes on light fixtures, dining room chairs, bunk beds, etc.
This is not a new probably read about our dryer needing repair.....
but all of this high-maintenance laundry came at the end of SUCH a long day!

This morning I took Merrick to the hospital for a bone scan.
The procedure required an injection of dye and then almost two hours of waiting before he would need to lay still for forty minutes!

That's quite a test for a 5 year old! Just walking into the hospital was an adventure as we each had to wear a face mask to protect ourselves from the H1N1 virus.

Just the day before I met the aunt who lost her 6 year-old niece to this horrible flu strain. So I was more than happy to be protected while we walked around the hospital. Not to mention that I looked at each of the workers like they were a saint!  Like I said, I was already emotional, but I couldn't help but think that these hospital workers daily put their lives at risk to care for those who are sick or in need of medical attention. It takes a lot of compassion and quite a bit of bravery if you ask me! (and you're you have no choice but to ASK me!)

Well, both Merrick and I arrived at the hospital under duress. His motrin had worn off and he was weeping and fidgety from his leg pain. And I was a mess, because my boy was hurting and I could not help him! (We had rushed out of the house to drop off Ian and Natalia, and make it to the hospital in W.C. asap! This being the day before a holiday, a super-kind nurse had pulled some strings to get us in for the scan. I was TRULY grateful, but also unprepared to get moving when she called!)

Tears clouded my thoughts as we drove to the hospital and I contemplated what was ahead. The point of this scan was to check for any abnormalities on his femur. My mind reeled with the images of further treatment and testing if this scan showed anything bad.  As it is Merrick has had the absolute WORST time with needles in his short life. 

So I knew that I was walking into a battle zone where I would need to stay composed if we were going to get through this test. I challenge any momma to stay composed when your child is screaming in pain. The nurse who came in bragging about how great she was with a needle was thrown of with his blood-curling pleas. Then she took more than one try to get that needle was awful. We cried together as I tried to distract him.  Thankfully, the injection proved to be the worst part.

Merrick was a trooper for the 20-minute virus scan (doesn't that sound like he's a PC??)
And then we ran to a dear friend's house for Motrin and to grab lunch during the wait time.
Their company was such a great distraction....we almost forgot about what lay ahead.

We showed up to the hospital just a few minutes past our two hour wait time.  The techs strapped him down to the machine and started the procedure.
I hummed our favorite lullabies and rubbed his head as the machine hovered barely an inch above his nose for 5 full minutes.  Then as it worked it's way down his body Merrick was able to relax.  He had to remain still, but we talked and laughed and made it through.

And now we wait. 
The doctors at the hospital need to write their report and then the next time they could fit us in at the orthopaedic specialist is in 2 weeks.
So be it. 

That's what I was thinking while I hung underwear on the furniture in my house.

We can do nothing to change this experience.  We cannot walk through this FOR Merrick, but we can walk with him every step of the way.
Everything in us would like to take away his pain, to shorten this ordeal, but there is a reason he must go through this. We're all being shaped.
And I can tell you that nothing has brought us to our knees quite like this. 
We find ourselves constantly praying. 
Not just pleading with a deaf idol.  We're talking to our Savior.  The redeemer of our lives.  The giver of only good gifts.  This may not be a trial He would choose for us, but He will see us through it....and He will use for good what the enemy longs to use for evil.

So as corny as it sounds.  I DO feel too blessed to be stressed.
I cannot change my circumstances, I cannot alter Merrick's path, but we can choose how we react while we're walking it. 

And even as I wake up to find laundry sprawled around the room....I find joy in putting away all these clothes....and for the arms we have to put into each sleeve....and for the ability to be here with our boy, not having to leave him  in pain and under someone else's care.  

God's words in 1 John chapter 3 have been talking straight to my heart:

Starting in verse 18 it says:
Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions.
It is by our actions that we know we are living in the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before the Lord, even if our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our conscience is clear, we can come to God with bold confidence. And we will receive whatever we request because we obey him and do the things that please him. And this is his commandment: We must believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as he commanded us. Those who obey God's commandments live in fellowship with him, and he with them. And we know he lives in us because the Holy Spirit lives in us.

God is not a magician or a genie I am asking to make this better.
He's our Daddy, and we're here asking Him to walk it with us.
And we're confident we're not alone.
So we are blessed.

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