Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Surgery Countdown

Merrick just beams....with images of breakfast in bed and video games dancing in his head.
He is blissfully unaware of any possible discomfort.  His greatest fear was getting stitches.
To which I could honestly answer, "Merrick, you will NEVER see stitches in your leg after this surgery!"
(Mainly because they will disappear before he gets his cast off! Whew!)

So here we are...as ready as we're going to be for the next phase of this experience.  This weekend I picked out new pjs and sweats for Merrick in a size or two larger than normal.  Then my mom and I ripped up the side seam and ironed on velcro.  This should help with wardrobe changes and potty stops. 
We're bringing breakaway pants back with a fierceness!

And you may have seen my announcement as our porch was retrofit for Merrick's hot new ride.
Daddy and Papi coached the boys through some serious construction this weekend. 
Then the medical supply store delivered this bohemoth.  And I honestly fought tears all night.  While the kids played around like it was a new toy,
I tried not to cry at the thought of Merrick being reclined in this thing for a month.
 
Let me qualify, this is a kid who hates the 'feel' of his toenails being clipped, or who can't stand for his shoes to be too snug.  We know his quirks and we work around them.....filing his nails and buying his shoes a half size larger.  We know that he doesn't like being uncomfortable.  On the flip side, he's also a HUGE hugger.  It's very common to have him run up to you and demand rather than ask to...."Snuggle!!"
So I'll play the pessimist for a minute as I tell you that SO much of this
DOES NOT SEEM like fun for Merrrick!  But what do I know?

And the clencher came today when I called the nurse about baseball sign-ups.
Even though the season doesn't start until March, we need to sign up the boys soon.
The nurse broke down our reality for the next few months. 
After the cast, Merrick probably won't FEEL like playing baseball.  I should expect his leg to be weak and he will need all 6 weeks of physical therapy to strengthen his bone.  All of this will depend on how successful the tumor removal is....as well as how extensive any follow up treatment may need to be.

So pending a miraculously quick healing, our boy will need to forfeit this baseball season. 
I'm so mad at the tumor for that.
Merrick will take it like a trooper, but I'm sad for him.
Then on the other hand; 
I'm praising God that 'kids' are resilient. 
And I know Merrick is a fighter. 
He is a toughie inside of a warm, and sensitive exterior.  And this is meant to make him stronger. 
Someone tell that to my heart in another day and a half.......

I admit that this is hard.  We're carrying the load for him as we prepare.  But on Thursday at 8am Merrick will start the part of his journey that we cannot take from him.  He is the only one who can be operated on, and he is the only one who can recuperate. 
So if we appear strong we praise God for that appearance, but as his parents, we'll be the first to admit we are scared, and tired already, and sad to watch him go through this.

And I know I sound very indecisive in this post...

But there is still joy. 
Because joy doesn't go away, and it's not a feeling.  Joy has set up residency in our hearts;
with a peace that transcends all understanding.
The peace of Christ.

If you're reading this then I know you care about our family, and I know you will be praying at 9:30am on January 7, 2010.  God already knows the outcome, but He longs for us to intercede on behalf of each other. 
So thank you.  Thank you for your kind words, your offers of help and your love. 
I really don't know what to expect at this point.  All the research and questioning every medically trained person I know, has helped, but now it's time for us to live this.
And I praise God that I have a husband by my side who reassures us, and makes us laugh when we get sad.
I'm thankful that Merrick has a brother and a sister for comedy relief and for gentle displays of love. 
I'm grateful for our family and friends who have offered everything from food to bean bag chairs.
We are cushioned all around by support.
To which I say, let's get this show on the road, our boy has a life to live!
Amen

1 comment:

The Ballard Family said...

AMEN! I'll be praying, my friend!